CHANGING LANES

For some reason, which I am not sure of, I shall be joining the livejournal world. haha

You can still read my thoughts at www.livejournal.com/~dancing_it

see you friends *mwah*

I'M THINKING...

I've been so praning lately, and for my friends who know why, well, don't tell anyone anymore aryt? I have told so many people already, so you don't need to do that. Anyway, I went to a rock/alternative (but really more HEAVY ROCK) gig last night. This is like my first after 4 straight years of not really being involved with the rockers. Oh yeah, I used to be part of the rocker group before, that was way before ok? so don't ask. before, rock, now hiphop. I didn't have a choice. Who would want to witness street dance people performing on a stage which is about to collapse because of heavy extortion and drum rolls???And has anyone of you actually seen a rocker mingling with a hiphop dancer? well, except of course if they're friends.

I don't know for what reason, but one friend of mine, a rockista to be specific, told me that when he asked his bandmate if she(the bandmate) knows me, a dancer, the girl goes..."dancer?ewww..." What the...? Well, we can't blame her right? Ika nga, OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE.

Anyway, and so I went to the gig with one new found friend, CES (she's super cool, listens a lot to a person--ME, who talks a lot!!). I was actually hesitating to go inside the bar at first because it was a very new atmosphere for me, and even if i was outside, my ears were already hurting because of the loud music. There are a lot more reasons, though, why there was hesitation at first. Haha, when I finally went in, as I've thought, I was the only one inside wearing somewhat "urban, funky" clothes, with my light blue trucker cap, light blue shirt, blue stretch pants, white garrison belt and tadaaa...white sneakers. And to top it all, I was holding a very thick clear book containing all my things in school and my UPSTREETDANCE CLUB jacket, which by the way, is colored WHITE..how odd.It was like I'm a kid amidst the gothic-clad crowd. Everybody was wearing black,brown,maroon,red...basta..dark colors, paired with their intentionally-torn jeans and chucks. Hay, good thing CES and I were both out of place, she came from her office and was in her corporate attire. Inside the bar, I was wishing that my friend's band would finish soon so I can go home already. I couldn't stand the cigarette smoke inside!!and people shouting at each other because of the loud music.

When my friend's band played, Ces and I were seated at the back of the bar. We were approximately 3 meters from the stage and I was very hopeful that I won't get palpitations because the music won't be that loud at that distance. But NO...as soon as they played, I felt like my eardrums are already begging for my help. I look around and see EVERYONE enjoying. Tutok na tutok pa sila sa banda!! Grabe, these people are like hello???Are you deaf???

Anyway, it's a good thing we watched only my friend's band and another more subtle band, whose rhythm guitarist, by the way, is cute.hehe.. Bad thing, I got sick--specifically, itchy throat plus running nose, because of all the smoke I inhaled..And my UPSTREETDANCE jacket, actually my whole wardrobe smelled like cigarette smoke. Hay, patience.I went home, thinking how going back to my past world--the rocker world, would mean a lot of adjustments for me. That includes, having my eardrum intensified and sound-proof, and having my lungs smoke-proof. But I believe it's gonna be worth it. I should probably go with CHinky to more gigs (which she said are more brutal) so I would eventually get used to it. hopefully.

I've been so praning for the past few days but I don't wanna share why na. I'm already praying for it and yesterday, I realized It was just plain kapraningan that's driving me nuts and making me so restless. Let's just wait for God's answer. Anyway, that would be the best one. ryt?

*wink* I bought two pairs of swim suit and a black flowery pair of board shorts from Macy and Niña's garage sale. However, the pink suit, which I liked most, is too small for me. I would have to exchange it for the orange-and-pink one tomorrow. I'm so excited to go to the beach. Hope I can swim before the year ends, I want to get dark..no..tan.hehe.. If you would want to invite me to a pool party, I'm willing to come, I want to try on the new suits.hehe.

EMOTIONS

I am confused. I am kinda confused with what's happening now. Maybe this will all come to pass. I feel that I've sinned because of what I've been doing. How will I be able to raise up women of faith if my heart is not pure? Sorry Lord. I need to be forgiven.

I wonder why a lot of girls want to indulge in these issues-- love life, relationships. I don't know why they enjoy this. It's so confusing. I am not yet ready for this. This is TRUTH.

Please do pray for me. I need peace in my heart.

YUMMMMM...

It was so sulit to get home early, I had the chance to eat dinner with my family. Missed Mama's yum recipes..and missed seeing the whole family together around the dining table. Now was my chance. And guess what was served for dinner???


Shrimp sauteed in oyster sauce..hehe..ultimate pig-out.

THE POWER OF THREE

My sisters and I took pictures a while ago before the two of them dozed off to dreamland.
Here's our favorite.


The power of the tongue plus the power of three.

NOw it's my turn to go to dreamland...zZzZZzzZzZz..

MR. SNOWMAN ON THE LOOSE

It is literally freezing cold in my room, to think i didn't even open the fan, and my gas...the window is just partly open for crying out loud!! Which reminds me that it's DEcember already. Oh my, Christmas is coming soon! Parang hindi happy..ulit..Yey! Christmas is coming soon. Ayan, that's more like it.

Speaking of christmas, people already have their wishlists..i think i want to try listing down a few of my wishes. To avoid plagiarism (did i spell it correctly?), I shall be attaching reasons/justifications beside my wishes. Feel free to be an instant Santa Claus to grant me any of my wishes, hehe:

1. More free time -- for my cell group and 121 sessions

2. New Laptop -- to make sure feasib, 186, 191 files don't pile up anymore

3. New Digicam -- to practice my photography skills ( I might have some undiscovered/untapped talent, you know..)

4. NOKIA 6260 or 7260 (I don't know if i got the model right, basta it's the one with the colorful commercial) -- wala lang, i just want a new fone

5. New CD Burner -- to burn all the music I can..wahahaha

6. New Computer Set -- to adorn my room, so i can give this computer to my sisters.(kunwari generous)

7. New generously-paying RAKET -- i want to go back to teaching dance, if i can't dance pa. and i want to save money for a lot of things (that BLOCKADA trip makes me so worried with finances, goodbye thailand, hehe)

8. Completely healed and restored right shoulder which will never be injured again and which will be super duper functional as in totally functional for dance, for sport, for anything-- do i need to explain this?

9. Ceramic Braces (is that really ceramic? i mean the Clear, not-so-obvious ones) -- i want my teeth fixed na and i don't want to look bad with the metal. (grabe, ang baba ng self-esteem, hehe)

10. Salvation for my parents -- Save the best and most coveted wish for last. I love you Ma and Pa.

there you have it..my wonderful and very interesting wishlist. Unleash the Santa Claus in you!

P.S. Can i add this one?

11. Electric Guitar for my youngest sister -- i know this is supposed to be my wishlist, but it's her birthday on Friday. Love you sis.

TOO MUCH REST

I usually say this statement but all those times I was lying. I just didn't want anyone to think I am putting too much time and effort in dancing. But now, it's actually true. My worst nightmare..I am having too much rest from dancing.

September 28, 2004, UP THEater, I got injured for the third time, same shoulder, same hospital, same doctor. I hope I'm not bitter, but I think it might have hurt me too much. I was back in the competing team, and the following day, I would be dancing for the competition I wished so hard to be part of. BUt then...INJURY.

My mentor told me I should take some rest muna, but NO, being the Hard-headed girl I was, I danced for one of our church youth gatherings, with extreme shoulder movements. Mr. Mentor got to chance to watch me, and even if it was hard for him to tell that to me.. He said I would really have to take a break from dancing.

And now, after 2 months, I am still on rest. The worst thing is..I am getting fat again. THis is true friends, I have to wear LOW RISE pants just so my Big and Flubber-like tummy won't pop out and say "HELLO FRIENDS!!". I am so lazy to even do sit-ups. and my arms, my gas...flubber welcome to the real world. I hope I can get back to action before I lose my jaw line again. Hay, stress..

CRY BABY

I saw my friends dance on TV in a show held in Araneta. I must admit..I am so envious. These days, it's so hard for me to be happy for my friends, who can dance and train. Maybe I'm bitter. But I don't want to stay this way. Oh Lord help me. I want to obey, but please I need to have a pure heart.


HOLD ON

I'm still doing my therapy exercises at home, but I skipped 2 sessions already. I know I would have to be more disciplined if I want to get back to my dancing shoes again. My shoes are stinking on the shoe rack because of prolonged rest. They would have to be used soon. Anyway, I'm still trusting that God would allow me to go back to the club and train. But discipline would have to come from me first. For my friends who have never failed to include me in their prayers...Thank you so much. You don't know how much that means to me.

BACK IN ACTION

Oh yes..for my gorgeous friends who have almost memorized my last entry, here i am..I was actually about to erase this journal because i can't find time and the drive to actually write down my thoughts. But thanks to my addict BLoGGER friends: tiepee and roan, i'm here updating my blog. Hope you're happy now girls( oops, i hope that didn't sound sarcastic)

It's just the second week of school and I am so stressed out already. Maybe because I've been thinking too much lately..Thinking about things ranging from the simple ones such as how i would finish my write-up, up to the most complex and inappropriate ones like if i get an employment offer from P&G and Unilever, which one should I choose? Haay, maybe I'm just too excited for graduation. Anyway, i got my application for graduation from Ate Zeny today, it's so unbelievable.It's just like yesterday that i got in the university, oh well, pre_graduation jitters as they say..

I checked out my BLOCKADA friends in Stat this afternoon. Although I waited for quite a long time, it was truly worth it. Seeing everyone again made me realize how much time has passed already, and I realized I miss them so much. NO BOLA girls, it's actually nice of you to start the conversation right away you arrived 'coz i almost cried when i saw all of you. You've changed alot! ( I mean not in a bad way) YOU all look so pretty, especially Tiepee and Jamie ( the rebonding thing really worked, you girls convinced me to finally go to the salon and have my hair fixed, hehe). I wonder why people say Tiepee is fat..grr...To those people, all i can say is: HOW THIN ARE YOU BA MARE??? Even IF YOU'RE SOMEONE 5 ft. 11 inches tall weighing 10 exact pounds, you don't have the right to step on someone's foot ok? GO HOME and PRAY..in a while you should've known what the word FAT means. I don't mean to be RUDE, but we're all EQUAL. stop discriminating.

*****

RECONCILIATION

Anyway.HAPPY thoughts.I am now relieved knowing that I have already talked to Roan and have said everything (mmm..make that almost everything) i need to say about his special someone. I have to be honest but I almost died in shock when I heard the news. (SOrry girl, i don't mean to offend you). But now, it's ok.When i read her blog yesterday and sensed that something must be wrong, I realized it's unfair for me to even make tampo. I can't blame her, I haven't been even present all the time. I'll try to make it up to BLOCKADA. After seeing them this afternoon, I've come to realize that FIRST LOVE really NEVER DIES. You guys are really my first love. I LOVE FRIENDS, hay..they never fail to keep you up even in your lowest moments. And no matter what they do, or what happens between any of you, you still enjoy each other's company, you still can laugh at the simplest jokes and remarks, you can overlook every offense.

To BLOCKADA for letting me be what I am now. (Rosselle, cry later please...), I want you to keep in your hearts this verse I love so much.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

DISCLAIMER: For my other friends who will have a chance of reading this, I know this is a MUSHY one. BUt ADMIT it, you can RELATE..I mean everything.